When I was much younger, I had an idea of how I thought that life would be once I was a “grown-up.” I think everyone does. It really doesn’t matter what background or culture that you have, you probably still thought you knew what it would be like.
The funny thing is that it is very rarely accurate. I’m interested to find out what those are for you, and here are some of mine.
I would get married and have babies immediately
I dated my teenage boyfriend from ages 14-19, and I was positive that not only was I going to marry him whenever we turned 18, but I was going to start having babies then too.
What I didn’t know was that we were going to determine (at different times, inconveniently) that we still wanted to be young and see other people. On top of that, once I found my soulmate and we were married at 23, I found out that I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), which makes getting pregnant difficult and complicated.
I would have no problems with money
I thought that I would never struggle financially. I thought that being older automatically meant that you made plenty of money to pay for a house, a car, going out to eat, watch movies; really to do whatever you needed AND wanted to do.
But the truth is that I have a budget, and it has only gotten more strict now that we are expecting a baby. That’s not to say that we haven’t thought we were invincible financially and that things would always come together, but we’ve learned from that whenever we were moving back close to home.
Best friends stayed friends forever
I thought that we would really do things like buy houses all in the same neighborhood, run in the same social circle, be interested in the same things, etc.
It’s just not realistic, and that sounds more pathetic and sad than it really is. I have two best friends that I still talk to every week; we just don’t see each other very often at all. But I had so many friends growing up, I never thought that there would come a day when I’ve got a free Saturday afternoon and no one to call to hang out with. Adults are busy people, and we’re mature enough to understand that being friends doesn’t mean having to spend every waking moment together. In fact, who would want to do that?
I’d become an early bird
I thought that adults had no problem getting up in the morning, but I’m not sure why. It may have something to do with characters on sitcom TV shows sipping coffee at their desk at work and not looking grumpy.
The reality of this is that I have to get up, splash my face with water, stand in front of a space heater for a while, and drink two Dr. Peppers on the way to work just to be able to function and pretend to be awake for the first hour. I’m sure some people may have less trouble with this, but I had some pretty unrealistic and disappointing expectations.
I would miraculously enjoy household chores
I can’t really explain this one. It’s not like my mom pretended to love doing laundry or dishes, and I know that I hated it. I think it goes hand in hand with my marriage ideals. I just thought you married someone and everything was perfect forever, including chores (and getting up early).
I would magically become a good cook
And here I am at 25, and all I can make is ziti. My husband happens to be an amazing cook and he can make anything that you can imagine. If he couldn’t, we would either starve or put our entire paycheck toward takeout. For the record, I can clean a mean house.
It is ridiculously important to me that Sophye learns to cook from my husband, so once we’ve passed on, she doesn’t have to hope to luck out with an amazingly culinary-inclined spouse.
I would know and understand everything I need to spiritually
Adults always seemed to have all of the answers. Now that I am one of those adults, I can see others confidently stating things as fact, when in reality they have no way of knowing for sure. But kids can sense uncertainty, so you need to be committed if you want them to believe you. I get that.
Throughout my life, there have been times that I have felt sure that I had the answers, and not long after that I would begin to grow in other areas of my life. As I became omniscient, I would be humbled.
I haven’t determined how I will teach Sophye once she begins asking questions that have complicated answers, but I hope that I don’t convince her that she will be expected to know everything at any point. I’m sure it will be an adventure in and of itself.
Please leave feedback and share your thoughts on how you thought life would be, or maybe things that turned out exactly as you thought they would.